NaNoWriMo has become my new favorite swear word…or possibly my victory cry as I stand over the body of a wooly mammoth recently slain by an arrow I made from my incisor. NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month and is a literary challenge to write 50,000 words of a novel in the month of November. Another name for it might be National Irritate Your Spouse, Neglect Your Spawn, Make Very Little Money and Wear Dirty Underwear Month. I can see why NaIrYoSpoNeYoSpaMaVeLiMoWeDiUnMo isn’t quite as catchy.
50,000 words is about 48,000 more words than I usually write. My experience lies in articles, essays and snarky blog posts, none of which get above a word count of 2,000. Plus, for some reason, I chose to work on a very dark Young Adult novel that is pretty much the polar opposite of what I usually write. This whole experience had the potential to be a massive failure on about seventeen levels.
People, I was done A DAY EARLY. For anyone who knows me, I am never a day early. I’m never even an hour early. There’s a manufacturing term: JIT. No, I’m not referring to the prison slang for someone younger than you (I’ve been brushing up on my prison slang). I’m talking about Just In Time manufacturing. That’s what I practice, and it usually involves a freakishly early morning of panic-stricken, caffeinated, wild ass typing.
So I finished early and demanded to be celebrated. We packed up the Little Tyrant and hit Gustav’s in Leavenworth for greasy food and beer – two of my personal favorites. Unfortunately, I don’t think Toby and I were ever sitting at the table at the same time. Little Tyrant decided that, unless he was climbing the stairs to the closed section of the restaurant, he would be screaming. So we each took turns following him up the stairs and into the women’s restroom to play in the toilet. Yep, we’re THOSE parents.
After about the eleventh time trying to restrain LT in the high chair while he wailed at top volume, I gave up permanently, grabbed my beer and followed him back up the stairs. “Oh, isn’t he just the cutest?” a fellow patron said, and I rolled my eyes into the back my head and I’m all, “I know, RIGHT? Sorry to ruin your dinner.” Only, when I looked at her I realized she was being serious. She really thought he was cute. Because it’s so dang cute when your kid isn’t happy unless he’s doing something dangerous and/or illegal.
I just realized that I owe my parents an apology because that last sentence pretty much describes me. Sucker punched by karma once again…
Anyway, I should have left the Little Tyrant with the lady in the restaurant because a few minutes later he was running down the middle of the slick, snow-covered street, wielding a steak knife he stole from the table, shrieking in delight. Ok, the part about the knife is an exaggeration but I do have to check him for illegal weapons and substances any time we enter or leave an establishment.
The big lesson I learned from NaNoWriMo is that family celebrations do not need to include the whole family, especially not the member who is a shark and will apparently die if he’s not in constant motion.
Also, my literary ambitions are totally valid.
WOW…just WOW…Congrats on an achievement I couldn’t even face starting this year! I’m going to be happy with my little 5,000 word contribution (which is longer than I ever do too). Congrats…when do we get to read it??????
Thanks Nancy! I bet the quality of your 5,000 is 10x better than my 50,000 so you’re ahead in the end :)
Congrats! Well done completing your challenge. I’ll look forward to the edited version in about 20 years. ;)
What’s this ‘edited version’ you speak of? :)
I hate to burst your bubble, but Amy and Casi do that many words in a DAY on a cell phone keypad!
That’s pretty impressive. You should take her to Jamaica as a reward.
Congrats!!!! What an achievement!
We were notified when Oscar was 1 by parents of an older child that between the ages of 1 and 2 don’t even TRY to eat out with the kid. After that it will get better. We still punished ourselves on occasion (because he was so good for the first 90 seconds in the high chair… right up until we placed an order…), but they were right :)
We’re slow learners…but I’m hoping the lesson stuck this go around. Maybe I need a shock collar that zaps me every time I say “I’m sure he’ll be fine THIS time” :)
Oh fiddlesticks, Tara! I disagree! (Not about congratulating Molly though – Molly, you rock!) I truly believe the best way to teach any child restaurant etiquette is expose them early, often and expect the same at home. Our four daughters have been exposed to restaurant eating since several months of age (and I don’t mean places with happy meals and playgrounds on site) and they know that everyone is to stay seated (no running around the restaurant, etc.) until everyone is ready to go home. Yes, there are potty breaks, coloring, occasional book reading or a small toy for a toddler but it really does work. And no, we don’t bribe them with promises of desserts, special toys, etc. I think if you expect your child can behave, you just might find that the meal is so much more enjoyable. We have rarely had disruptive meals out with the kids (our girls are now 10, 8, 5 and 3 years old).
I agree with you AND Tara! From the day he was born, Roper has gone everywhere with me: meetings, classes, social events – everywhere. Toby and I are pretty strict about behavior both in and out of the house and we don’t bribe or negotiate. When Roper is good, he’s VERY good. But he’s also the kid of two wildly stubborn, determined risk-takers and displays those characteristics quite colorfully these days :) He’s testing out his newly discovered independence and honestly, I wouldn’t mind a dinner out without that testing!
Also I believe there’s a HUGE difference between boys and girls. Boys are more into conquering than pleasing as far as I can tell… ;)
SO proud of you Molly! I really hope you’re going to share it with us…even the outline left me wondering how it was all going to pan out. And A DAY EARLY! :)
Thanks Morgan! You made quite a dent in your manuscript too – are you going to keep working on it?
You are so awesome! Next year I’m doing NaIrYoSpoNeYoSpaMaVeLiMoWeDiUnMo with you! And running with a steak knife or not, Roper is ADORABLE. His dining style fits right in with ours.
I’m totally holding you to it, Kim! We can writing/drinking parties…
Congrats on rising to the NaNoWriMo challenge! I am impressed and mildly jealous. I can’t wait to read your novel. Next year I will try NaNoWriMo again. You definately encourage me that it is possible to write 50,000 words in a month. By the way, Roper is so cute!